Monthly Archives: December 2010
A Hikers “Twas The Night Before Christmas”
A Hiker’s Night Before
Christmas
(see below for ham radio version of this)
Twas
the night before Christmas, when all through the shelter
Not a hiker was stirring, too cold for a swelter.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Hiker Nick would dry them right
there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Pop Tarts danced in their heads.
And mamma in her bedroll, and I setting a trap,
Had just settled our brains for a long hiker’s
nap.
When out on the bear hanger there arose such a
clatter,
I sprang from the bunk to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the pack and scratched at my rash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the trail below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a hungry big black bear, looking for beer.
I’m a little old hiker, not lively or quick,
So in a moment of fear I grabbed a stick.
More rapid than eagles his growls they came,
And he whistled, and grunted, and didn’t look tame!
“Now scamper! now, scat! now, out I’m Fixen!
I yelled and I screamed, cursing like Blitzen!
To the top of the privy! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the trail storms do fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the shelter-top the bear he flew,
With the lots of loud noise, and crashing too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The clawing and pawing, the dog gave a woof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the bear came with a bound.
He was covered in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his coat was all tarnished with ashes and
soot.
A bear-bag of provisions he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his
pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a
cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
It was evident in a minute, this was no sow.
The stump of a branch he held tight in his teeth,
And the chimney smoke encircled his head like a
wreath
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he growled, like he’d just left a
deli!
He was chubby and plump, and leaned on a shelf
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He made not a sound, but went straight to his
work,
And raided all the stockings, then turned with a
jerk.
And laying his paws aside of his nose
And giving a nod, he left for a doze!
He gave out a bray, which caused me to bristle,
And away he flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he dove out of
sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a
good-night!”
Dennis
“K1” Blanchard
AT
07/08
Author
of Three Hundred Zeroes
(I’m not going to copyright this, but credit is appreciated) Feel free to copy.
Happy Christmas to Hams Everywhere…
Christmas in Ham Radio Land…
T’was the night before Christmas, when all through the shack,
not a meter was stirring, not even on the rack;
The finals were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nick would tune them right there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of moonbounce danced in their heads;
and Mama with her handheld, and I with a trap,
had just settled our brains with a high voltage zap.
When out on the tower there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bench to see what was the matter.
away to the window I flew like a high tension flash,
tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
gave the glow of tubes of days long ago.
When what, to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature sleigh, with mobile amateur gear;
with a little old ham, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Nick.
More rapid than McElroy his keying it came,
and he listened and he tuned and called them by name:
“Now Dasher! Now Damper! Now Phasor and DX’en”
“On Common! On Coupled! On Doner and Blitzen!”
“To the top of the shack to the top of the wall”
“Now Dash away, Dash away, dash away all!”
As dry days before Field Day do fly,
when they meet with the forecast and never comply,
so up on the shack top the signals they flew,
with the sleigh full of gear, and St. Nickolas too.
and then in a band opening, I heard on the roof,
antenna work by a ham on the hoof.
As I drew in my head and was tuning around,
down the feedline came St. Nicholas with a bound.
He was all tangled in coax, from his head to his foot,
and his checksheets were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of gear he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a contester opening a six-pack;
His handheld – how it crackled! The signals did vary,
his equipment made noises, his QSO was quite merry.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a Mho,
and the beard of his chin was white as slow scan snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a round little belly,
that shook when he laughed like the roll of a tele.
He was chubby and plump, a right old elf,
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had not QR-zed.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and tuned all the finals, then turned with a jerk,
and keying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the feedline he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, his handheld gave a whistle,
and away they all flew, like the down on a thistle’
But I heard him exclaim ‘Ere he faded out of sight’
“Happy Christmas to all
and to all
A good night!”
K1YPP
Written about 1981 for a ham radio newsletter for the ’85 Repeater in Derry, NH. I didn’t bother to copyright it, but appreciate credit.
Dennis, K1YPP
Where to find a bear costume?
I have this script I’m putting together where I need to have a few of the actors dressed as bears. Where does one find costumes to rent? I can’t imagine that the would be something I could afford to purchase. I never knew a book could get me involved into so many unrelated fields…now it’s movie making. What next?
Hike the El Camino Santiago Trail in Spain?
I just finished reading Susan Alcorn’s book, CAMINO CHRONICLE and it has convinced me that it would an interesting, albeit different, hike for us to hike. Have any of you readers hiked the Camino Santiago? I recall reading Shirley MacLaine’s book about it a few years ago and it sparked my interest, but Susan’s book was more of a journal about what is good, and what is not so good.
Have you searched your own name on the Internet?
Every now and then it is a good idea to search on your own name on the Internet, you never know what you will find. Since many of us have “pen” names or other monikers, don’t forget to use those as well. I recently looked on Youtube.com and found a film of me being interviewed at Traildays in Damascus, VA last year. Hennessy Hammock did the interview. It was a Hennessy that I used on the hike, and I was thrilled with it.
K1YPP Hennessy Hammock interview on Youtube .
Traildays is a ball. Thousands of hikers gather there for a weekend of fun. Lectures, food and a little beer make for a great time with old friends and new ones. Check it out if you get the chance.
I hate to spoil it for Santa, but judging by the number of people ordering Three Hundred Zeroes on amazon.com, there are going to be more than a few people doing some reading next year! Great! Sit down with a good book and a hot drink in January, what could be finer? My latest list includes two by Susan Alcorn, CAMINO CHORONICLE and WE’RE IN THE MOUNTAINS, NOT OVER THE HILL . I’m also reading SOUTHBOUND , by the Letcher sisters, Lucy and Susan, and FOOTPATH MY ASS , by Terry Croteau ‘Bluebird’. These books should keep me busy for a while.
Dennis “K1” Blanchard
Backpack Weight
One question I often get asked about my hike on the Appalachian Trail is, “How much did your pack weigh?” The best answer is, “That depends.”
First of all, in the cold weather, hikers carry more heavy clothing. Additionally, if it is very cold, there will also be the extra sleeping materials to stay warm at night. I was fortunate, since I started out in May, the weather was somewhat warmer; I didn’t have any snow and some of the nights were near freezing, but not too many times.
Cold weather usually means additional food in the pack. The body wants to keep warm and uses calories to keep that heat going. Although it is not necessary, hot food can add to the comfort level when the weather is cold, but that means additional fuel to heat it, or stopping more often to find fuel.
In the warmer weather the pack can get much lighter, as much as fifteen pounds or more. Extra fuel, hats, gloves, heavy clothes, extra socks and so on can be shipped home. Ultimately, in the cooler weather my pack was up around 40-42 pounds (including water and food) and in the warmer times it was usually around 35 pounds, full.
As I progressed up the trail I ended up eating cold breakfasts, even in the cold Maine weather. Whereas down south I was eating oatmeal and hot chocolate for breakfast, in the north I was into mini-bagels and cream cheese. With the cooler weather the cheese would keep well in my pack for many days and the bagels were a welcome change from energy bars and their ilk. Although bulky, the bagels did not weigh that much and oft times I would also have them at lunch with peanut butter.
Additionally, I was carrying two ham radios. One was similar to a cell phone; it operated on VHF. I didn’t use it often, but it was comforting to know I could communicate with it from almost everywhere; that was not the case with the cell phone, which I also carried.
The other radio was a short-wave affair. It used the Morse code with a key. It actually fit inside an Altoids mint tin and weighed a massive 7 ounces. With external batteries and an antenna my amateur radio (ham)gear added maybe two pounds to my overall pack weight. I didn’t carry any books to read; many do, so it was probably a trade off when compared to what other hikers were carrying.
A good rule of thumb for figuring pack weight is it should weigh, at a maximum, about 20% of your body weight. I usually met that requirement. Hiking gear is like a women’s bikini, the less of it there is, the more it costs, so everything is a trade-off.
More comments on the book, Three Hundred Zeroes
When I titled the book , Three Hundred Zeroes, I was worried people would think it was my high school test scores and not a book about hiking. Apparently, that is not the case. I’ve been getting tons of mail lately from readers and am a bit overwhelmed at the response. I’m also having trouble keeping up with answering the mails, so if you’ve written, my apologies. Here are two from today. The first was posted on the Whiteblaze.com web site and the second came from a doctor working at the Veterans Administration Hospital in Bradenton, FL via US Post Office. It is comforting to know that my veteran peers are reading it as well:
K1,
I saw this post last week, followed your link to Amazon and ordered the book.
I read it this weekend and really enjoyed it. You are a funny
some-beach! Once started, I hated to put the book down. My wife came
in the room several times, to ask what was so funny.
Congratulations on your perseverance, the successful completion of your hike, as well as the release of your book.
Three Hundred Zeroes cost far less than $49.95, so I didn’t have high expectations. It turned-out to be the most entertaining AT book I’ve read in a long time. Well done!
__________________
Roland
Dear Mr. Blanchard, December 1, 2010
I read your book Three Hundred Zeroes and enjoyed it very much. I’m passing it around at the Bradenton, VA Center where I currently work. I also bought a copy for my son, a section hiker.
Sincerely
C*******e
Highs and Lows on the Pacific Coast Trail
With the holiday season upon us it is a great time to think about books as gifts. When I was a youngster there was one Christmas where my parents gave me a set of classics, Moby Dick, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, Treasure Island and so on. To this day I still think it was the best gift I have ever received. I think they got the collection at a book-a-week special a local supermarket sponsored.